What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
