is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
