I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
