my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
