Rock
Scissors
Fuck
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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