At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
