I love black thongs
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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