this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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