She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
