Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Fuck appropriateness.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
