R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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