i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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