Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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