You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
