will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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