She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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