everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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