y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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