I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
