If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
