I'm really into asian looking animals
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
