Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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