Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize