So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Is Oprah even human
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
