I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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