Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
