i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize