I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize