nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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