a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
