Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You did what with his pubic hair?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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