You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
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Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm at about main and main street
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
FUCK WHALES
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