if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
