Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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