Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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