I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
