he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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