I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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