We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Randomize
