Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
