ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
