Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
