good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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