I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
