Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
