im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize