i was born a porn star she said
I don't think brook has ever known best
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
