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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B

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• (310): View more from California

  I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred

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• (631): View more from New York

  Crying in the liquor store is not a good look

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....

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• (408): View more from California

  I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I mean come on

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• (409): View more from Texas

  Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night

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• (408): View more from California

  I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line

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• (951): View more from California

  she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??

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