The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
