i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
