I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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