Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
In America we eat man semen.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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