never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
