Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize