I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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