She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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