I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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