The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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