ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize