you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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