I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i only shaved half my leg
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
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She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
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thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.