Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Don't you send me to vm

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  (248): Don't you send me to vm http://tfl.nu/tac7
  Replies (4) Good night (983) Bad night (1529)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.

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  (410): She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY. http://tfl.nu/v8u7
  Replies (85) Good night (1225) Bad night (12637)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.

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  (407): She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it. http://tfl.nu/q87n
  Replies (23) Good night (1462) Bad night (6749)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.

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  (919): Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time. http://tfl.nu/r3pt
  Replies (9) Good night (4884) Bad night (1191)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.

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  (315): My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw. http://tfl.nu/z7bn
  Replies (10) Good night (3459) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.

  (315): View more from New York

  hahahaha slap the bag.

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  (315): mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table. (315): hahahaha slap the bag. http://tfl.nu/tktw
  Replies (2) Good night (1478) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.

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  (416): He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut. http://tfl.nu/vwy6
  Replies (8) Good night (5058) Bad night (797)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.

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  (937): Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule. http://tfl.nu/t3gw
  Replies (6) Good night (1401) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big

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  (530): I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big http://tfl.nu/j8o0
  Replies (8) Good night (1315) Bad night (420)
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  (914): View more from New York

  How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man

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  (914): How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man http://tfl.nu/szzb
  Replies (2) Good night (1212) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.

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  (306): Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians. http://tfl.nu/ykxr
  Replies (8) Good night (1171) Bad night (461)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.

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  (317): Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios. http://tfl.nu/l40u
  Replies (4) Good night (836) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work

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  (859): You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work http://tfl.nu/e8m2
  Replies (3) Good night (1185) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life

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  (412): But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life http://tfl.nu/sdyc
  Replies (5) Good night (1080) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon

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  (904): We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon http://tfl.nu/g9lm
  Replies (3) Good night (1097) Bad night (375)

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