Texts From Last Night

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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting

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  (252): just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting http://tfl.nu/rg7x
  Replies (3) Good night (605) Bad night (747)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.

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  (910): so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch. http://tfl.nu/syjm
  Replies (57) Good night (16996) Bad night (1130)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.

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  (425): It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down. http://tfl.nu/xg1z
  Replies (7) Good night (5656) Bad night (1768)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I can't believe he would be such an ass

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.

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  (561): I can't believe he would be such an ass (1-561): Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything. http://tfl.nu/zk45
  Replies (7) Good night (4854) Bad night (1052)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.

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  (410): As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned. http://tfl.nu/df4g
  Replies (19) Good night (5881) Bad night (901)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'

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  (972): You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.' http://tfl.nu/1grt
  Replies (22) Good night (2215) Bad night (4431)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay

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  (917): I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay http://tfl.nu/145k
  Replies (12) Good night (4064) Bad night (1110)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps

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  (757): I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps http://tfl.nu/vrde
  Replies (4) Good night (2975) Bad night (1043)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.

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  (816): It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out. http://tfl.nu/oebq
  Replies (3) Good night (2545) Bad night (1111)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex

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  (603): I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex http://tfl.nu/95h4
  Replies (7) Good night (552) Bad night (1309)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.

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  (812): Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do. (812): Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this. http://tfl.nu/m912
  Replies (10) Good night (1423) Bad night (546)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet

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  (716): Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet http://tfl.nu/obun
  Replies (25) Good night (2724) Bad night (1091)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today

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  (231): FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today http://tfl.nu/dvgl
  Replies (5) Good night (1777) Bad night (485)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know

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  (908): We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know http://tfl.nu/8q22
  Replies (5) Good night (713) Bad night (256)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.

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  (520): last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES. http://tfl.nu/2ekk
  Replies (3) Good night (357) Bad night (281)

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